friends are..

one of God's loving creation..

*i need to blabber now... u don't need to read this one*

... Dulu waktu gw kecil, waktu sd, gw sekolah di jakarta dan tinggal di bekasi.
Setiap hari dari pagi sampe malem lagi, gw ngabisin waktu di jalan.
kadang nunggu si mamah kerja sambil maen di rumah nenek, kali lain di rumah sodara, kali lainnya kursus.. never really had the time for any friendship.
untunnya gue punya sodara seumuran sama gue.. we were very close, until one day we have to split for some family issues..

Setiap malem waktu gue masih SD, sebelum tidur, mama selalu ngajarin utk baca doa dahulu. Dan gw selalu nambahin : "Ya Allah, aku pengeen punya temen. pengen disukain sama temen temen.."
i trully did that. every single nite.
mungkin karena rasa gak begitu diterima sama temen2 di sekolah. krn mungkin waktunya sendiri gak memungkinkan.. i was feeling so lonely.

Memasuki SMP, gw pindah sekolah ke bekasi. biar deket, kata bundaku. biar gue bisa punya aktifitas lain selain bolak balik jakarta-bekasi. hehe.
I have found my first bestfriend there.. her name is S.. I was soo happy and xcited. everything was soo new to me.
kita ngapa2in bareng. ke wc pun bareng.. istirahat bareng, pulang bareng, berenang bareng..
pokoknya semua pureness of friendship bareng.. :) she has become my bestfriend ever since.. mulai deh gue banyak temen2 laen, walaupun gak sedeket S. I met soo many kind-hearted person. and it seems like i was friends with soo many people. i was very happy.
dan teori gue tg persahabatan begitu simple.
u can find friends anywhere, and u can be friends with anyone..

mulai deh masuk SMA. krn gue sama S gak sekolah di SMA yang sama, kita udah mulai susah ketemu. makin jarang dan makin jarang, walaupun gak ngerubah kedeketan gue ma dia.
tapi itu ngebuka pintu2 yang lain... gue nemuin lagi orang2 yang worth to be called friends. together we experienced things.. bolos bareng salah satunya, hahaha..
Somehow, i felt secure.. i have what i always wanted.. friends.
my love life was not always been the prettiest, but that's fine cause i don'T have to face it alone.
I have my friends who encouraged me.
..
but as the years gone by, i've realized that my friendship theory is no longer true.
that we can not just be friends with just anyone. and we don't have to be friends with everyone.
some people just not find friendship as important as we might have.
that sometimes they said that they were your friends but they lied..

and so my prayer changed. I don't wish for having lots of friends anymore (of course i don't mind at all having them :) ), i just wish to have people, if not, a person, that is sincerely have me, as a friend. through thick and thin..

when people leave school and get ready to met their own life.. u can see which of them are still your bestpal.
sometimes even if u think u r ready for the worst thing, losing BF was never at all easy.
the bestfriend's definition has narrowed even more down.

i guess u can have lots of friends.. but not so many bestfriends..
coz bestfriends means responsibility, time, effort, understanding, cries, laughter, being there, accepting, trying, forgiving..
soo many emotion included inside. it is already in the package.
u can not really just play around.
u invest your love, time, and energy in there.

especially becoz of the time, that's why u can not have tooo many BF. how can u pamper them then?..

I can count my Bestfriends with my fingers. but they are more than enuf for me. they are equal with all the friends that u can collect in whole world.
they fulfil me. l'm soo blessed to have them.

being soo far away from 'em, can not be there physically, for them when they crying alone in the corner, for them when it's the hapiest day of their life,..to look at my mobile and smiles, to feel far but yet so close in heart.

makes me wonder, and doubt,. have i been a good friend all along..?
do i deserve their presence anyway?
Coz i'm sure i'm far away from being perfect friend.
and i'm not so sure I'm unreplaceable..

I really don'T know what i wanna say next.

it just that..

thank you.. for just being there.
I'm sorry for all my stupid acts.. again and again..
and, if u don't mind.. i want to keep u forever..




*till we old and wrinkle*





.your Best friend.