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mother's day

.. i never really celebrate any special days such as: mothers day, fathers day, ..even new years.

hmm.. i just don't have the urge to make it special only on that day. and as for new year, my father's birthday is on 1st January. so, yeah, that solves it.

i think showing appreciation to your parents, that is something that u have to do all the time.

ofcourse there's a fun in having one day special for mommy or daddy. ..

:)

today is mother's day in indonesia. and Facebook is filled with poems, sweet words, reminder related to mother's day.

can not help but thinking about what is all about. and it brought me to think about my mom.

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my mother, ever since i was i child, has always been a busy and active woman.

she's talented in sooo many fields.

from haushalt like cooking, baking, pimping up our home with nice interior, ..untill doing bussines, working in the office, negotiating, lobby-ing..

she is my definiton if super woman.

living in a country where u can not really lean on anybody's kindness, raising three children(with my dad working all the hours), and working, too. it must not have been easy for her.

and yet sometimes i forgot all that and got in to another fight with her again and again.

----------------------------

i'm married now. living far far faaaar away from my parents and family.

having children of my own, makes me realize things that i never known before.

i'm a mother myself now.

things that i always thought so mean from her become meaningful.

i understand her more..

i love her even more..

.....

-------------------------------

Mom's small hands are soo fragile and soft.. she has this tiny fingers. .unlike mine ( i got it from my papabear, big and strong.. not verygirly hands)..

i held them hands, and think : "these are the hands that used to hold me, catch me, stroke my head when i cried, ..these were the hands of a young mother trying to make a living for her three children. these hands have become smaller than i cud remember. fragile. wrinkle. ...weak."

there are nothing i can do to repay all of those love.

except being a good daughter and pray.

..........................................................

i love u, mom..

thank u for being a sweet friend, strict teacher, and loving mother for me..

*sb*

new desire...

semenjak ngambek sama baking dan cooking yang sempet gagal beruntun kemaren2.. i found myself making a star made of filz. itu loh.. kain felt alias flanel.
dengan bermodalkan sama sekali gak bisa jahit, dan have no idea what so ever, cuman nekat aja.. akhirnya jadi juga tuh bintang.

belum puas, abis itu bun2 bikin tas kecil, bahannya dari kemeja papao yang udah gak dipake... maksaaa banget pokoknya pengne nyoba hari itu juga..

i just followed a tutorial in Internet (alhamdulillaaaaah ada internet utk belajar apa aja). keliatannnya ribet, tapi setelah dijalanin satu demi satu step2nya, ternyata jadi jugaaa.. horeeeee!! ^^

hahahahaha... it doesn'T look professional at all. but i'm working my way there.

..

ternyata..... menjahit bisa punya efek yang sama dng baking (efek buat si bunbun tentunya).
menenangkan.. dan berantakan setelahnya.. hahahahhahaha..

dan setelah itu, bunbun seperti agak terobsesi.. browsing kesan kemari ttg jahit menjahit..
dreaming of having mesin jahit sendiri suatu saat nanti.. setelah prioritas2 lain yang tentunya lebih penting terbayarkan.. hiks. .


pengennnn banget coba bikin dress simple utk anak2.
ihhhh.. gatellllll tangannya pengen eksperimen.

walaupun, gak kebayang sama skali tehnik2nya..

bunbun reporting from the blog.

*wish me luck*

urge for writing

is there..

the stupid thing is that i keep on forgetting my user name and password combination... hahahahahaha..

plus,.. FaceBook has take over the most writing activity.

:)

how i want to update this blog.

------------------

surprisingly, it's almost again the time for the year to change.
we're already in the cold-freezing-winter days of December.. waiting for holidays to come, yup, christmas holiday. which means.... soon is New Year.
hyaaa... !!!

..............

i've made some resolution for next year (hopefully this time will be fulfilled) :

* making driving license
* having an upgraded Deutsch Kurs
* learn how to sew
* help Nalea finish IQRA

bismillah.... :)


oh, and ofcourse :

* update the blog every now and then.. -____-


with luv,
bun

the fight

..somehow, i knew that it's coming. a storm.



...
everything was on the right track, ..sure, there were things to be fixed, but it wasn't about us. it's more like the things we have to sort or something..
we don't have a problem about being us.
alhamdulillah..

...
but it's coming and i can feel it.

even a cute cuddly nite and yummy romantic dinner can suddenly looked just like a yesterday. only a yesterday.

birds were chirping in the morning..
the talks were nice..

and still it's coming.

the boiled mind. the angry heat..

........

and i never..
never meant any of the things i said when we're in fight.
and i'm sorry.. and you're sorry too..

but, call me weird (didn't mean it literally), but i'm glad we had this fight storm coming over.

it made me realize even more, how i don't want things to become like that with u.


and the birds are chirping again..

this time the storm is over, the sky is sunny again.




*wof u*

renewing me

aaaaha... fuuuhhh *tiup dulu debu2 di blog*
hihihi, bagaimana iniiiihh!! knp tak kunjung juga rajin menulis..

aaaahhh..


kini bun datang lagi dng berbagai ide2baru (yang mudah2an terlaksana..)
gonna make it my birthday resolutions!!!

hyaaa!!! semangaaatt!! *riweuh sendiri*


update terus, demi masa depan memoriku yang sangat sangat low batt... :D




dear blog, maafkan aku yang selalu mengabaikanmuuuuu..

*semangat lagi, walau gak tau bertaha berapa lama kali ini*

i wanna go home..

A very close friend of mine texted me a few weeks ago. i could even hear her crying as i read the sms.
she - the same person that has said to me will get married next year -, has broke up with her 7 years boyfriend.

i tried to call her as soon as possible, but could only reach her the next day.

we didn't talk much. her voice sounded so heavy and tired from all the crying, and still she couldn't hold back the tears that kept on coming again and again.
i cried too. with her.

see, i know her since i was born. we grew up together. her mom and mine are siblings. and our souls are stronger than twins.. (i think).
i was there when she started dating this guy.
i was there to witness their cute relationship. and wishing for nothing more than for them to stay in love like it is, --

so yeah, i can somehow feel how she felt at that moment.
the difference for me is that, when i wake up in the morning, i have to get busy feeding those two little chubby Rabbits, my daughters, and take care of them, and be able to concentrate on other things, while she was stuck with her stranded feelings, and cudn't put her mind out of it.
she was really in pain.

i'm so much wishing to be there by her side.

----------------------------------------------

there r sooo many reasons why i want to fly home..
but the reasons why i couldn't go, are also very strong..

----------------------------------------------

i guess these are the consequences of living on another continent other than your homeland..
u can not easily grab those who u love dearly.
but on the other side, it shows u just how dearly they are for u.
and to have people you care about, who care about u too..
that alone is something to be thankful for.

-----------------------------------------------

I'm sorry guys i cudn't be there.. but i'm "there" .. hihi..

i miss u all.. so sehr..


dedicated to all the people back home
.Mama,PapaBear,Abang,Adek,MbakUci,CammyDhut,Danisha(we haven't met but i love u already),MbakAde,GuriGuri,Omadit,Fie,deb,sin,Sarahku(theoneandonly),Gita,Gat2,Moy.

HiYaaaaAAa!!!

i'm back after five months ignoring the blog.
such a bad habit of mine.. but i will never give up the fight of blogging!!! ganbare!!

^^,

many things has happened mean while. T_T i was so sure i'm gonna memorize all those precious moments.. and yet, here i am, sitting in front of the monitor. wondering what to write.. hihihi..

but i remember some of the head lines:
.carefull with helping other people
.i got new friendsssss....!!! lovely sisterss!! ^^
.i gain weight !! (again)
.nalea and nara singing on stage
.i found some kicking recipes..
.3 close friends of mine got pregnant.. (>.<)
anddd.... i got a MowZie!

yup, that's all for the update now..
hauptsache, ich schreibe was... :P



have to update the blog urgently,,,, !!!!



mmmwah!!

friends are..

one of God's loving creation..

*i need to blabber now... u don't need to read this one*

... Dulu waktu gw kecil, waktu sd, gw sekolah di jakarta dan tinggal di bekasi.
Setiap hari dari pagi sampe malem lagi, gw ngabisin waktu di jalan.
kadang nunggu si mamah kerja sambil maen di rumah nenek, kali lain di rumah sodara, kali lainnya kursus.. never really had the time for any friendship.
untunnya gue punya sodara seumuran sama gue.. we were very close, until one day we have to split for some family issues..

Setiap malem waktu gue masih SD, sebelum tidur, mama selalu ngajarin utk baca doa dahulu. Dan gw selalu nambahin : "Ya Allah, aku pengeen punya temen. pengen disukain sama temen temen.."
i trully did that. every single nite.
mungkin karena rasa gak begitu diterima sama temen2 di sekolah. krn mungkin waktunya sendiri gak memungkinkan.. i was feeling so lonely.

Memasuki SMP, gw pindah sekolah ke bekasi. biar deket, kata bundaku. biar gue bisa punya aktifitas lain selain bolak balik jakarta-bekasi. hehe.
I have found my first bestfriend there.. her name is S.. I was soo happy and xcited. everything was soo new to me.
kita ngapa2in bareng. ke wc pun bareng.. istirahat bareng, pulang bareng, berenang bareng..
pokoknya semua pureness of friendship bareng.. :) she has become my bestfriend ever since.. mulai deh gue banyak temen2 laen, walaupun gak sedeket S. I met soo many kind-hearted person. and it seems like i was friends with soo many people. i was very happy.
dan teori gue tg persahabatan begitu simple.
u can find friends anywhere, and u can be friends with anyone..

mulai deh masuk SMA. krn gue sama S gak sekolah di SMA yang sama, kita udah mulai susah ketemu. makin jarang dan makin jarang, walaupun gak ngerubah kedeketan gue ma dia.
tapi itu ngebuka pintu2 yang lain... gue nemuin lagi orang2 yang worth to be called friends. together we experienced things.. bolos bareng salah satunya, hahaha..
Somehow, i felt secure.. i have what i always wanted.. friends.
my love life was not always been the prettiest, but that's fine cause i don'T have to face it alone.
I have my friends who encouraged me.
..
but as the years gone by, i've realized that my friendship theory is no longer true.
that we can not just be friends with just anyone. and we don't have to be friends with everyone.
some people just not find friendship as important as we might have.
that sometimes they said that they were your friends but they lied..

and so my prayer changed. I don't wish for having lots of friends anymore (of course i don't mind at all having them :) ), i just wish to have people, if not, a person, that is sincerely have me, as a friend. through thick and thin..

when people leave school and get ready to met their own life.. u can see which of them are still your bestpal.
sometimes even if u think u r ready for the worst thing, losing BF was never at all easy.
the bestfriend's definition has narrowed even more down.

i guess u can have lots of friends.. but not so many bestfriends..
coz bestfriends means responsibility, time, effort, understanding, cries, laughter, being there, accepting, trying, forgiving..
soo many emotion included inside. it is already in the package.
u can not really just play around.
u invest your love, time, and energy in there.

especially becoz of the time, that's why u can not have tooo many BF. how can u pamper them then?..

I can count my Bestfriends with my fingers. but they are more than enuf for me. they are equal with all the friends that u can collect in whole world.
they fulfil me. l'm soo blessed to have them.

being soo far away from 'em, can not be there physically, for them when they crying alone in the corner, for them when it's the hapiest day of their life,..to look at my mobile and smiles, to feel far but yet so close in heart.

makes me wonder, and doubt,. have i been a good friend all along..?
do i deserve their presence anyway?
Coz i'm sure i'm far away from being perfect friend.
and i'm not so sure I'm unreplaceable..

I really don'T know what i wanna say next.

it just that..

thank you.. for just being there.
I'm sorry for all my stupid acts.. again and again..
and, if u don't mind.. i want to keep u forever..




*till we old and wrinkle*





.your Best friend.

Merkel warum kein Wort, Kindermord ist Kindermord

Ini demo pertama Bunda.
Berbaris dengan puluhan orang lainya.. mengajukan ketidaksetujuan kami, terhadap ketidak adilan saudara2 kami. di Palestine.
Ribuan bayi, anak2, perempuan2, keluarga, dirampas hak hidupnya. terluka fisik dan mental. Dan dunia hanya terdiam menyaksikan.
Kami berbaris dan berparade, berharap hati2 yang beku akan menjadi hangat. Meneriakkan takbir dan berdoa, mengharap pertolonganNya.
Bunda juga baru pertama kali. Gak tau musti gimana2nya. Tapi it feels right, stand for something that u'r believing. gak ada satupun kata yang bisa Bun teriakin disana, krn setiap kali mau membuka mulut, air matanya akan terdorong keluar. sakit rasanya membayangkan nasib orang2 disana. Mungkin krn skr Bun udah punya anak2, jadi lebih kerasa aja.
Malu rasanya kalo ngeluh, sementara yang dikeluhkan gak seberapa dibanding apa yang terjadi sekarang.

Alloohummaghfir lilmu'miniina wal mu'minaat
Wal muslimiina wal muslimaat
Wa allif baina quluubihim
Wa ashlih dzaata bainahum
Wanshur 'Alaa 'Aduwwika wa'aduwwihim

Allohummal'in kafarota ahlil kitaabil ladziina
Yukadzibuuna rusulaka wayuqottiluuna auliyaa aka
Alloohumma khollif baina kalimaatihim
Wazalzil Aqdaamahum
Wa anzilbihim ba'sakalladzii layuroddu 'anil
qaumil mujrimiin

Bismillaahirrahmaan irrahiim
Allohumma innaanasta'iinuka

"Ya Allah ampunilah dosa kaum muslimin dan muslimat, mukminin dan mukminat,
Ya Allah jinakkan, satu padukan hati orang-orang muslimin,
Perbaikilah keadaan mereka,
Tolonglah kaum muslimin utuk melawan musuh-musuh- Mu, dan musuh-musuh mereka

Ya Allah, laknatlah orang-orang kafir yang mendustakan para RasulMu dan membunuh para kekasih-Mu!
Ya Allah cerai-beraikan kesatuan kata mereka!
Hancur leburkan kekuatan mereka!
Dan turunkanlah bencana-Mu yang tiada tertolak lagi untuk orang-orang yang penuh dengan dosa

Dengan menyebut nama-Mu ya Allah yang Maha Pengasih Maha Penyayang,
Ya Allah, sesungguhnya kami memohon perlindungan kepadaMu"